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Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this 
time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye 
call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a 
prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! 
You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur 
coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings 
certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, 
the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked 
outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and 
an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht 
in the Riviera and... ."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! 
Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a 
Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!